THE GOODS BLOG: Erika's Precious Little Life - June Edition
Updated: Jun 18, 2021
I feel like spring went from March to June and now it’s suddenly the summer and I’m just like “WTF just happened?” The world is so disturbing right now and I feel uneasy about it. I’m well aware that I come from a place of massive privilege. At the end of the day, I am truly hoping that my contribution of raising a kind and accepting son counts for something.
I feel like I had a lot of things to talk about but that it’s all pretty useless and unimportant. Regardless, I’ll attempt to rally my thoughts.
We have now been self-isolating for twelve weeks and at this point it just feels normal. I’m envious of the fact that pretty much the entire country has flattened their pandemic curves and seem to be doing so much better. That’s not really the case in Toronto and we still have 1,905 active cases in the city right now. Which I suppose actually isn’t that much for a city of 2.9 million people. (0.06% of the population currently has Covid.) But still. It doesn’t feel like it’s “going away” and I’m just used to the way that things are now. The city is “opening up” a little bit but certainly not to the extent that many of the other cities in the country are. For this reason, part of me is really looking forward to leaving.
We spent the majority of May outside. Lots of hikes and nature walks and backyard time. The weather is being very lovely and accommodating these days. It feels like summer. We’ve been really happy as a family, although Tim and I do sometimes get at each other’s throats, likely because we’ve been trapped in the same space for three months, 24/7. Given that, I actually think that we’re doing pretty well.
It was Mother’s Day!! I think that it was one of the best Mother’s Days ever, even though it didn’t go exactly as I had originally planned. But maybe it was even better. We ordered the Mother’s Day Brunch (take-out) from our favourite restaurant, Alo. It was amazing!! We had mimosas and Archie made me adorable macaroni art... And it was all perfect.
My yoga practice is still going incredibly strong. I am on day 78 (and counting!) of practicing yoga every day consecutively. I haven’t missed a single day. I’d never been able to maintain a home practice in the past - and look at me now! When going to a studio is removed as an option, we adapt. My Toronto yoga studio has started a TOGETHER AT HOME 30-Day Challenge which I am also partaking in.
I still try to “hang out” with you guys when possible and I’m pretty used to everyone existing in computer form. We’re fortunate that we have these technologies! (And booze. And cheesies.)
We took a road trip to Fort Erie one weekend (1.5 hr drive) because a chef that we like (Matty Matheson) opened an outdoor pop-up BBQ. And we needed to eat that! It was fun to feel like we got to go somewhere and do something!
We have embraced the fact that masks are life now. You are required to wear them when going to most places in Toronto. Most people that you see are wearing them. I was sure to get us fashionable ones! Also, hot parenting tip: GAP is selling Kids' Face Masks in three-packs. I’ve ordered a pack for Archie.
We recently visited the neighbourhood that I grew up in and it was fun to walk around my old elementary school. I attended this school for my entire elementary life, from junior kindergarten to grade six. I find it so surreal to do things like this, especially with my own family.
We also hung out with our first humans since the pandemic began! It felt pretty “illegal” but we tried to keep things as socially distanced as possible. In Toronto we’re allowed to gather in groups of 5 as long as it’s socially distanced and preferably outdoors. (We had 7 but 3 of them were little kids...) I missed Colen so much!!
And on May 12th...
IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!
I'm an AUNT (again)!
I have a NIECE!
My sixth niece or nephew!
Her name is Penelope Hope van Riesen and she was born at 9:56pm!
Baby and Emily are doing great and I can’t wait to meet our newest family member... Hopefully someday soon!
So just to re-cap. I have SIX nieces and zero nephews. Archie remains the lone boy! It seems mathematically impossible.
These are all of my nieces. The text is the same colour for sisters. Archie was born between Madison and Laura. They’re all so beautiful and I love them!
This seems like a good transition to the topic of my pregnancy scare. I had a pregnancy scare this month. And I was fully convinced that I had gotten pregnant. Tim and I had had sex during my “fertility window” which normally means nothing because I am on birth control (Evra patch) and I use it perfectly. However, a few days later I started to experience the EXACT same pregnancy symptoms that I had had when I first got pregnant with Archie. Sore breasts, cramping and discomfort radiating from my uterus, queasiness and nausea. These symptoms continued for over a week... And I was beyond certain that my birth control had somehow failed. It didn’t make sense but I didn’t know how else to explain it. The good thing about this incident is that it REALLY made us think about having another baby and what that would mean. I spent two weeks in this bubble of deep contemplation and I was on a roller coaster of emotions. Some days I felt excited and other days I was fully crying in despair. At the end of the day, I decided that if I was somehow pregnant, this baby was clearly meant to be here. The Universe wanted this baby to exist. But I also discovered how much I truly hoped that I wasn’t pregnant. I do not want another baby and I see this very clearly now. My family is absolutely perfect just the way that it is and I most certainly do not have feelings that something is “missing” or “incomplete.” So after two weeks of waiting and living with bizarre symptoms, and going insane inside of my head, the first day of my period arrived... And it came. I was not pregnant. AND I WAS OVERJOYED AND RELIEVED!!! (I still have no clue what the hell my body was doing.) After going through all of this I am ready to sell all of our baby things and for Tim to get a vasectomy. I’m there.
I’m SO THERE that I will even tell you what our “girl name” was going to be if Archie had been a girl or if we had had a second that was a girl. She was going to be Scarlett Jasper Golem. Named after my favourite character from a book and movie, Scarlett O’Hara.
I am extremely relieved to know how I really feel. For me, having one kid is the closest thing to having no kids... While still getting to have one. I am happiest this way.
Back to the fact that we are still moving to Edmonton... It’s becoming more and more official that we will be moving there in mid-August. It still doesn’t feel all that real given everything else that has been going on. But I’m happy that things seem more certain. Archie is registered for preschool in September and I don’t want him to miss the beginning of that (presuming that schools will resume in the fall).
It has begun to occur to me that ever since moving away from Edmonton, I have tried to recreate my Edmonton life in every subsequent city that I have lived. My Edmonton life was just the way that I liked it and so I had been using it as a road map each time that I moved to a new city. I would start looking for all of “my things;” the best yoga studio, the good farmers’ markets, art house movie theatres, where improv is performed, indie art & craft fairs, the city’s Fringe Festival... All things that became a part of my life while living in Edmonton. (Plus I began food writing and snowboarding while living there too.) Sure, I picked up some new interests along the way from the other cities, but the basic model was always based off of Edmonton. (Montreal gave me a requirement for specialized fancy cheese shops and a desire to find a cabane à sucre in the spring. Vancouver started up an interest in crystals, introduced me to my favourite facial spa shop, and began a preference to send Archie to forest school. Toronto gave me non-touring musical theatre - and I will certainly miss it.) I’ve always felt that I “became who I am” in Edmonton. Because of this, moving back there feels really good to me.
June 2016: “Edmonton still feels very much like home to me and I love being there so much. I always feel like one of the greatest versions of myself when I’m there!”
An issue that I’ve found with Toronto is that there is so much of everything which makes it difficult to grow attachments to anything. As someone who always wants to see/do/eat/experience everything, I’ve found it more challenging to settle into any sort of identity here. Although I guess that our Toronto life has been based in “constantly trying new things,” which is fun and interesting but also tends to feel unsettled.
Anyway, I have been thinking and contemplating and meditating on WAY TOO MANY THINGS this month and I need a brain break.
Life with Archie:
While I do not want more kids, I absolutely adore the one that I have.
We have completely removed Archie’s potty (which was situated in the living room) and now he only goes to the bathroom in the toilet. He barely has accidents anymore and has gotten better and better at expressing when he needs to go to the bathroom. When his diapers (Easy Ups) ran out we just didn’t buy more. He doesn’t wear anything overnight anymore. Hooray for a toilet trained preschooler!
Archie is enjoying the summer-like weather a lot! I love that I can leave him in our backyard and he happily entertains himself. (I am so glad to be past the phase of constantly worrying if he’s somehow about to kill himself!)
I was very proud the other day when Archie ate spicy mussel laksa with chopsticks. He’s not immune from pickiness but overall I am so thrilled at his willingness to try anything. I hope that this is a testament to the fact that we have always fed him everything for his whole life.
What’s happening in June? I don’t even know. I suppose that it’s summer now?
There’s Father’s Day and I don’t have any idea what we’ll be doing for it.
I don’t really know what was *supposed* to happen this month because we’re in a weird grey zone now. We were supposed to be in Edmonton. Nothing was planned for Toronto in June because we weren’t supposed to be here.
THIS MONTH’S SHOUT-OUTS!:
June 14th is Amy Bull’s 12th wedding anniversary!
Wishing you and Ray a special time to celebrate! ♥
June 20th is Laura Young’s 5th wedding anniversary!
Wishing you and Matt a special time to celebrate! ♥
June 24th is Sarah Turnbull’s 38th birthday!
It’s been a crazy year and I really hope that you get this day to celebrate the amazing woman that you are. You give so much to your family and to your community. You’re always trying to make the world a better place and I admire that about you so much. Maybe you’ll get a dog named Hashbrown for your birthday?! I’m looking forward to the fact that Edmonton will be a lot closer to you! I love you! ♥
June 30th is my 7th wedding anniversary!
Welp. Our marriage has now survived being trapped in a small house together for three months! Things aren’t always easy. But I still find myself in moments of awe where I am so incredibly grateful that we have chosen each other. I wouldn’t want to be experiencing life with anyone else. ♥
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